Pavlov didn't need his dogs...just give someone a telephone and watch them rush to answer it the moment it starts ringing.Why is it that we will tell our children and husbands not to interrupt, but when we hear that sound from the phone we drop everything--including paying attention to our husband and children--to answer it?
It's an electronic device with an answering system, for goodness sake.
Do you get a lot of phone calls during the day because you are "at home" and can talk or be contacted to do a favor for someone?
I used to. I've apparently offended enough people that those that used to do so don't call much anymore.
Several months ago, after getting irritated that someone called me to talk about how miserable their life was for the second time that day since I was home and "available" to talk--after all, homeschooling two children isn't "doing anything," right?--I placed the following message on my voicemail:
Hi, you've reached Michele's phone. I'm sorry I've missed you, but I am not available to take your call. I attempt to return all calls between one and two o'clock. If this time does not work for you, please let me know what is best for you and I'll do my best to get back to you then. Thank you!This apparently not only took a few people by surprise, but irritated them, too.
One person who is a frequent boundary-crosser left a nice message: "Oh, since I'm only your friend now between one and two o'clock, I guess I'll call back then." She calls every day at one o'clock.
Another person stopped calling altogether. She sent me an email stating, "What happened? Why can't I call you during the day? Did you get a job?" Sigh.
Yes, people, I have a job. I have a household to run, children to homeschool, and a part-time business. I have to manage my time.
Why does that offend people?
It wouldn't offend people if I worked outside of the home.
Hmmmmm....
To be honest, I've had more compliments than complaints for the message. Many of my friends--my true friends rather than the boundary-crossers that I'd love out of my life but, for many reasons, can't quite remove--have told me they think it's a great idea. One jokingly told me, "My best time is in the morning...I guess we'll have to give up the phone and just go out to lunch!" I told her that's a great idea, and now we get together every couple of weeks to eat.
I don't feel bad that the phone doesn't ring as often, or that some people are irritated with me. I probably should. But I really have so much to do that I'd rather use the phone for the things I need and the people I want to talk to, not as a frequent interrupter. I'm disappointed that people do not understand I'd rather talk to them when I've made the time to do so rather than half-listen to them as my mind is on other things. My message even says I'm flexible--if my time doesn't work for them then tell me what works. But, apparently, that's not enough. I'm expected to be available on demand for everyone. I think that is unreasonable. Don't you?
