Here we go again.It wasn't enough when the New York Times had that socially-enlightening article on mothers who get together for a cocktail while watching the children. Now that we have the information that Diane Schuler, the driver responsible for the wrong-way crash on a New York highway, was incredibly drunk and stoned at the time according to toxicology reports, the media has once again taken renewed the criticisms of mothers who drink. Period. No one is upset about fathers who drink, probably because it is assumed that non-drinking mothers are watching the kids while the fathers imbibe.
Once again, if women are not "perfect" according to media-driven societal standards, we are one hundred percent irresponsible.
One of my first posts on this blog was Gasp! Mother's Enjoying Themselves, where I asked how are we going to beat up mothers next?
- EXPOSED: Mothers who take allergy and cold medications and still perform parenting duties.
- EXPOSED: Mothers who risk their children's safety when mothers do not get enough sleep.
- EXPOSED: Parents being offered wine at Olive Garden in front of the children!
- EXPOSED: Mothers who feed their children junk food, endangering the health of their children.
- EXPOSED: Mothers who buy something for themselves--how selfish!
And men? Well, so long as they go to work, keep the lawn mowed and the cars running, and do some occasional house maintenance, then their jobs are done. They don't have to get up in the middle of the night with the kids...they have work the next day. (So do moms, but it's not considered the same, is it?) And they can drink...beers at barbecues, beers at sports games, beers while watching the game, it's all socially acceptable.
Now, I'm being extremely general and brief here, because we've all heard this before and you don't need to read me ranting about that which you know.
I review all this to ask the question: when are we mothers going to tell the media/society to stop this nonsense already?
When one moron drinks herself into a stupor and gets herself stoned and kills herself and several other people, why does that have to then become a war cry against any mother who even so much has a small glass of wine with dinner? How do these things even equate?
If anyone is going to make an argument that mothers cannot do anything that may cause even the slightest risk to her children, then you have to ban not only alcohol and allergy medicines and lack of sleep, but also driving children in cars or letting children play on dangerous equipment called swings and slides and television and....
Sound stupid? Yes, it is.
Every single thing in life carries with it a possible risk. One can argue that alcohol is a choice whereas driving is a necessity. Sure. But a glass of alcohol enjoyed responsibly is probably safer than the mother driving to the grocery store with her two kids shouting in the backseat after a night of a few hours of sleep. I would bet my house that the latter happens much more frequently than the former, and carries with it a slightly greater risk. But mothers caring for children on lack of sleep is socially acceptable. We're expected to do that. But take any time to relax and have a drink in a responsible manner? Nope--you're a bad mother.
For the record, I think mothers getting together and having one drink while watching the kids on their front lawns is not irresponsible. I've written my arguments for that here.
I'm willing to accept that society considers me a bad mother, because I completely reject what society thinks a perfect mother should be. I don't look like Jessica Simpson, my house looks lived in, and I have bad days. I also love my family, love taking care of my family, and enjoy taking some time for myself.
Once again, the media/society is confusing selfish with self-respect. The Diane Schuler? Selfish. A mother who enjoys one weekly cocktail on her front lawn with other mothers? That's not selfish.
That's being human.
