Benjamin Franklin is remembered for a plethora of great things, ranging from his ability to rise in the world as a printer to his inventions to his role in the formation of our country. In The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Franklin writes of how he came to create his Thirteen Values in order to live a virtuous and productive life. His eleventh value, "chastity," carried the notation, "Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation." Yet Franklin was what we would call today a "womanizer:" he admitted to years of sleeping around, producing an illegitimate child, and his wife was well aware of his relationships (be they flirtations or actual affairs) with Catharine Ray, Margaret Stevenson, Anne-Louise d'Hardancourt Brillon de Jouy, and others.Although he had assistance, Thomas Jefferson was the primary architect of The Declaration of Independence. He risked his life and property in his pursuit of a new and better country. Yet this brilliant man constantly lived beyond his means, dying in near poverty after losing all but his home...and saw the rights of mankind as belonging only to white men.
Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent thinker, a self-made man, and a person of morals; yet he was not a supporter of emancipation until long after the Civil War had begun. Winston Churchill was reportedly a racist. John F. Kennedy inspired a nation, but he was no saint.
These great leaders (and the many others I have not mentioned) are remembered for their significant contributions, their intelligence, their sacrifices, and their ability to lead. We admire them for their achievements, not for their shortcomings. These people were not perfect, yet we overlook that when we associate the names with the deeds.
We don't care that they were not perfect, for these men were not just their failings. They were good people, too.
Over the past few weeks I've been pondering the posts I've written on this blog and compared them to how I live my life. Am I walking the talk? Do I live by the principles which I espouse? Do I respect myself as a woman with a career, the "career" being a woman, wife, and mother first and foremost? Do I always dress nicely? Do I have my house organized? Am I running the household like a business? Am I positively promoting the value of motherhood? How can I continue to maintain this blog if I do not practice that which I preach myself?
My husband has yet to read my blog. What would he say about that which I've written? I've revealed my blog to a few people close to me, and it's met with positive reviews. If I were to make my blog--my writing, my opinions, my observations, my ideas--known to more around me, would they think that what I write is ridiculous considering the source? Do I think too much of myself? Am I deluded? Am I a hypocrite? How would, or will, others judge me?
This evening, I came up with an answer.
My blog is my own personal version of Franklin's Thirteen Virtues in that, while I do not always achieve that of which I write, I am constantly striving to achieve that of which I write. I truly want to have it all together. I want to be organized, have an efficient and clean house, happy and healthy kids, a fantastic relationship with my husband, an attractive body, and not spend one penny more than is necessary. I want to cook delicious meals and be able to handle any crisis calmly and confidently. I want my husband to want me and love me and desire to be with me forever. I want to be known as intelligent, capable, and friendly. I want to improve my writing and expand my education. I want to be the authentic person behind this blog. I want to succeed as a Professional Family Manager.
But it isn't just about me.
I believe in what I have written: It is time for Mothers everywhere to change the image of Mothering. Mothering is a career. Mothering is a job. And it’s time we start treating Mothering as a career, and treating ourselves as professional career women.
I truly believe the first step towards improving the status of Mothers lies in self-respect. Mothers are the least likely to respect themselves as they struggle in what is said to be the best job in the world but is actually treated as easy and not one which requires or develops any marketable skills. If Mothers do not respect themselves, there is no possible way that any one else will ever change their minds about how they see our jobs. Waiting around for everyone else to get a clue just isn't going to happen.
I want to encourage and inspire women to think well of themselves and do well for themselves, not because I think I have all the answers and am some great leader, but because I passionately believe Mothers do work hard and deserve to be respected. I want to find a way to promote Mothers as rational, intelligent, creative, and hard-working human beings. At this time, my blog is my means by which I am attempting to do so.
My blog is small. I have not been going to blogger conferences, hosting a lot of giveaways, or been chased down by a multitude of sponsors. I do not post pictures of my kids or give many updates on my family. I haven't sought out someone to professionally redesign my blog for me. By comparison to many mom bloggers on the internet, my blog is hardly the platform from which I can attempt to change the world in its attitude toward Mothers. But I don't believe that to push for change I have to be the only and loudest blog out there. So many women are already addressing these and similar issues on their own blogs that I suspect that there will be a movement of mothers who will, in their own ways, inspire change. It's not a one-woman thing--it's an all of us thing.
So I'm going to keep posting, and keep working at being the woman I want to be, and continue to promote Motherhood as a professional career...and try not to beat myself up when I am not that mythical ideal. If someone as "great" as Benjamin Franklin had to work hard to do well and didn't always succeed, then who am I to put myself down for not doing what even the "greats" couldn't do?
I'm just going to walk the talk...the best I can.
